Why aren't we as generous as our children?

I've been convicted lately of being less than generous. By whom? My children, specifically, Hannah.

After Trick-or-Treating, we got home and Hannah wanted to start sorting her candy. I mentioned that a friend was leaving on a mission trip and was collecting candy and shoes to take. I had thought this would be a good way to decrease the amount of candy in the house. Hannah got all excited and ran and got a zip-lock bag. I assumed she would start with, "I don't like this kind, so they can have that."

But no, my 6-year-old with a strong sweet tooth, turns over the entire contents of her pumpkin into the bag. And then runs to get a second bag because she had so much. And what was my thought? "Awww...but, hey, save some Snickers for me!" :(

The next day, she went through her closet and found 3 pairs of shoes to give away. That may not sound like much, but it left her with a pair of black Sunday shoes, her softball cleats, and two pairs of sneakers.

And her favorite? Buying things for her shoe box. Every year our church participates in Operation Christmas Child.

This is Hannah's 3rd year filling a shoebox. The first year, at age 4, she looked the cashier straight in the eye and said, "These things are ~not~ for me! They are for a little girl whose mommy can't buy her a present. Please be careful with them!"

And this year, she grabbed her purse before walking out the door, and counted out all her money at the register and paid for everything herself. She spend every bill in her wallet, and borrowed $0.23 from me. And came home and picked up the yard from the dogs to pay me back. That's dedication.

And she does it all with a smile on her face.

Why can't I do that? Why do I feel so torn about packing up a bag of out grown clothing for the battered women's shelter we volunteer at? Why is there a little voice in the back of my head that says, "But I could take these to the consignment store and make a few dollars?"

Why do I feel like I deserve more and others less? And when I do give, want recognition for it? The verses of Matthew 6 have been ringing through my mind for the last month or so.

2“So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3“But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

A hard pill to swallow....